Budgetting

If you're the person who does the budgeting in your house, you know how stressful it can be!

Sometimes I wish I could leave the budgeting up to my husband, let go and not think about the money situation, but if we switched back and forth like that, the whole plan would be destroyed.

For example, let's say our electric is $500 this month (and it is because we have electric heating... living in the northeast of good ol' America has it's drawbacks - namely winter) and I budget our plan for it, but next pay check I tell my husband to do it.  Sure, I'll have a break from the money, but I might not realize the way he budgeted our following month's electric was he split it between two checks...  So when it's my turn to budget the next check I have an unexpected bill I wasn't counting on and I somehow have to find a way to squeeze it in!

So this is why one person doing ALL the budgeting is important in my family.  The problem is, the other person (my husband) is completely oblivious to what I'm doing.  Even if I show him the budget plan for the month, he's not in charge of the money, I am, so unfortunately life can be chaotic between us.

Every couple has their ups and downs, their pros and cons, there is NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP!  Our relationship has problems with budgeting.  I can have every little thing written down, 'unexpected' funds set aside, but something still always ends up getting in the way... and that is my husband and his spending habits...

Cigarettes - a huge and unnecessary expense!  Millions of people smoke - Newports, Marlboro, Camel, etc... but there's one thing that I, as a non-smoker, have never been able to understand.

- Why smoke if you can't afford it?

From day one of my husband's habit, he was scrounging for pennies to a pack of cigarettes.  Everyone is naive, sure, but don't think for a minute that 'one pack' will get you hooked.  At almost $6 - $10 a pack (and that's just around here, New York is practically $20 for a single pack of cigarettes!) you'd think you'd be able to do the math and figure out from day one, if you're already dead broke, that you can't afford to keep up such a habit, so better not to.  Some people start when they already have a job and a decent income, but then come to realize that the cost is extraordinary every month, then there are others who just would pick cigarettes off their friends and eventually started buying their own here and there...  but you don't really notice the cost because it's just a few dollars for a pack here or there...

The people I'm talking about are the ones who try to chain smoke, who smoke at every event, after every meal, to keep awake while driving, after sex, every time a friend does... before you know it you've smoked 2-3 packs in a single day!  That's $15 up in smoke!!

Multiply that by 30 days and you end up with a $450 expense every month!!

As a mother of 3 children, $450 is not something I want to just throw away to cigarettes... I'd rather spend it on milk through the month or new clothes, shoes, something other than cigarettes!

So this is something my husband and I have worked through...  It is difficult to quit, I've seen many people try and fail and try again, but while you're trying and failing, instead of spending that money, you can look for alternatives....

In order to lower the budget on his cigarette problems, we compromised and found a cigarette store that sold bags of tobacco and tubes and a roller...  The roller was about $50, but if you think about it, that $50 is a ONE TIME CHARGE and far less than all those packs a month so well worth it... and then two large bags of tobacco only equal about $25!  Add in the $5 for few boxes of tubes and you're spending a mere $30 compared to that nasty $450!!

One day I hope to get him to quit entirely, but in the mean time, while he tries and tries again... he can at least eliminate a huge expense from our budget plan, freeing up room for the needs of our children!


I'm sure you all have your plans, or that one cost you wish you could get rid of... but while you try and figure out how to remove it completely, why not look into how you can just lower it?


Your Cell Phone Bill -  I was trying to lower our bill and when I found out there was no way without putting us in danger of overages the representative offered a full year discount - for no reason but being with them as a 'valued customer'.  It's the first time I've ever heard of such a thing, but apparently Verizon has a customer appreciation discount!  We've now got $20 off our bill for the next YEAR!!!  And I'm sure if Verizon has it, there are many other companies out there that also carry this deal!!

Also if you don't think you can find such a deal, still call your company, you might find that your company has lowered the price of certain plans, plans you already have!  And if you don't call or go online and change it to the lower bill, it won't go down.  I know that might seem very odd, why would they make you pay for $50 for a plan they're now only charging $40 for, but it's all about their computers, they need to take off that old plan and replace it with the new one.  You won't lose anything but you will save $10!

Cable - I used to have it, now I don't.  Why?  Because I found another way of watching TV, free normal local channels and Netflix!  I'd rather pay the $7.99 a month than the $200 cable bill for channels I don't even watch....

And want to know another trick -  Do you have access to YouTube?  You might be surprised but if you go onto YouTube you can now search for your favorite shows right on there!  You can watch them on your computer, TV or PlayStation for FREE!  So ask yourself the next time you get your cable bill, do you really need it or can you do with something lower?



I could go on and on all day about other options, but the bottom line is, there is need and then there is want, you 'need' to figure out where you can cut back to give you more relaxation.

The key to it all is wondering 'Am I paying too much for this?'  If you're asking yourself that question, than the answer is yes! You can find better options out there!


Please feel free to leave comments below about your experiences, show how you were able to cut back your bills because word of mouth is almost the most reliable tool out there!  If someone else was able to do it, you can too!

It's half passed 3am....

And I'm awake!

The worst possible hour of the night and you can't get back to sleep, do you know the feeling?  If you have experienced this than you know that alone feeling I am feeling.  You can have your husband, siblings, parents, and 20 kids all sleeping in the same house, but you will feel so alone when you're the only one awake in the middle of the night.

I am awake tonight, just like I am every night since my newest son came into this world.  He goes to sleep at 7, 8 or 9pm... and will wake up at 2, 3 or 4am... and why do you ask?  Simple, he's hungry!  So what do you do when your baby is hungry?  You feed him of course!  The consequence to being a good mommy though, is sleepless nights.  Make no mistake, you'll find it all worth it when your child is older but while they're young, life is rough.  The only way to survive it is to figure out what works for you!

So what works for me?  Thinking about one thing - Time!

Sometimes the only way to get through chaos, is to create order....  Everything, from how long it takes to dry laundry to when the bus arrives to pick up your child is calculated...  Right now I'm staring at the clock and it's saying 3:45am... one person would look at this and say, 'It's time for bed', I, on the other hand, am saying '3 more hours before my son wakes up for his next feeding, 4 more hours before my daughter's bus arrives, 4 and a half more hours before I have to drive my older son to school', and so on and so forth...

Everything in this house is scheduled.  It might not be written on the fridge, but after doing laundry for your family over a decade, dishes, making their lunches, scheduling their doctor appointments, cleaning up their toys, drawing their baths, you learn that everything has a time limit.  Laundry - 1 hour, Dishes - 30 minutes to 1 hour, planning dinner - 2 to 3 hours, school - 4 to 8 hours, Appointments - 1 to 3 hours...  etc...

These are the things going through my mind at this very moment.  I'm saying to myself right now, it's now almost 4am, I have 3 more hours to get things done before my youngest son wakes up and I need to get my older two children ready for school... then after they go to school, I have 4 more hours to fit in dishes, laundry, vacuuming, personal appointments, feeding and playing with my youngest son, before I need to pick my older son up from school, and then another 4 hours to fit in other appointments, taking care of both sons, finishing the housework before I have to pick up my daughter from extracurricular activities... and then more possible appointments for my children after their schooling is done, checking over their schoolwork, homework, planning dinner, cooking that dinner, baths, more cleaning and playing...

There is just so much to be done every day and if you can't put it in order, the stress can be an enormous burden....

So although I do feel alone at this time of night, I also feel like I can breathe.

In these next few hours I can take a shower, sit down with a cup of coffee and watch a few netflix shows quietly by myself without 3 children screaming in my ear or feeling like I'm wasting daylight in front of my TV...

...knowing I've already slept for 6-7 hours in anticipation that I would be up about this time anyway...

Now here I am, on my computer, writing this blog about time, knowing there are many more out there feeling the same way, or close to it.

And how do I know this?

Easy,  because when children come into this world, your life takes a back seat and you learn to do anything and everything to make sure they are taken care of without them knowing the stresses you're going through to take care of them.

Time being the biggest one - watching that ticking clock - you learn to appreciate every minute!

Good morning!

Do you ever have a day where you feel like you have so much bottled inside, that you just need to get it out?  That's me.  I'm a talker, but being a mom means I have limited options at times.

I love to talk to my children, I enjoy my conversations with my husband, and the occasional phone call to family is always welcomed... but that outside source of contact... way outside of the circle of 'family' is something not all of us get anymore.  Sure, we have Facebook, and Twitter, but what happened to going out for a cup of coffee and a breather to get things off your chest without feeling judged?

That is why I'm starting this blog today, to talk to all of you out there willing to listen about my life, my feelings, my emotions and to share in stories about the joys of raising children, dealing with family, the occasional outing, or simple doctor appointments.

So quite simply, I'm here writing to chat with all of you.


That being said, lets get right down to the basics...

I am (currently) in my late 20s, with 3 children, a husband whom I love (but is oblivious at times) and a close nit family life.  I live in an area where we have ALL 4 seasons (currently dead in the middle of winter - my favorite/not) and trying to make a living as a stay at home mom.

My hobbies are crafting, making graphic and pixelated artworks on my laptop, crocheting, gardening (during the spring and summer, by fall I'm whooped and glad to be picking my well earned crops!) and of course, blogging....

My day is usually consistent but to a fault... You always plan your day ahead of time, hope it goes well, but you always manage to run into those unexpected surprises...  for example a nice little movie night with my children the other day almost ended up with my house going up in smoke after a baseboard short circuited in my living room!  The worst nightmare of all electrically heated homes in the dead of winter...  Thank goodness it didn't end like that as I was able to shut everything down before the charred wires could ignite into flames, but it did make for an interesting story that night and a very learned lesson.... that the sudden smell of melted plastic means ELECTRICAL FIRE! 

After that night you can bet that I've been on high alert on all other electrical heaters in my home... and of course waiting for my electrician to show and check them all and the one that had an issue to avoid it happening again...

So you can look forward to stories like those, stories of my children, crafts ideas, food ideas, and so much more... and feel free to comment about anything anytime, after all, it's nice to have a conversation when you know someone is listening ^_^

Have a great day!